Sex, Lies, and Consequences
by MushuofPudding
Summary: Kaoru is keeping a secret from his brother.  A secret with consequence that not even he realizes.


Disclaimer is on my profile

Rated M for sexual content

Warning: If you're not a fan of yaoi, you may want to avoid the paragraph that starts with "I take a deep breath..."

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Sex, Lies, and Consequences

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I am keeping a secret from my brother. It's a big secret and a big deal.

Well, maybe it's not a big deal in some circles, but it's a big deal for me to have kept this from my brother.

You see, my brother and I are supposed to be virgins to outsiders. I mean, we have sex with each other, of course, but never with anyone else. That is what I expect of my brother and that is what he has always expected of me.

Therein lies the problem, my secret: I am not a virgin.

It was only once, and I never even bothered talking to the slut again. -And she had to have been a slut to have been so okay with the fact that I never spoke to her again. I may not have called her, but she never called me either.-

Actually, there are two problems with this: One, that I am lying to my brother; and two- and possibly more importantly- I dont think I'm quite as gay as he is. I've thought a lot about this, and a lot about that night. Normally, I'm the penetrat_ed_, not the penetrat_or_. So I had been completely unaware of how great sex with a girl could be. She was soft, and sensitive, and sweet under my tongue. I felt like a man when I was with her- albeit, I was only thirteen at the time. We went at it for that whole night. -It was the only night I was ever away from my brother.- I explored every inch of her; I think I'd still remember most of it even today.

I had been so angry that day-I can't even recall anymore about what- angry enough to run away. I turned off my cell phone and took a taxi into the city. I wandered around aimlessly for hours doing nothing more than people-watching. I watched the drunks get thrown out of bars, watched rich old women swoon over hosts, and watched sleezy men get slapped for offering money to pretty women who weren't selling. Nightlife was amusing to me. I was convinced that if only I were just a bit older, I could live here making money as a host (It's funny how that works, isn't it?).

At around ten o'clock, I was really hungry. None of the bars would let me in, but I managed to find a fast food place. I sat by a window, and lazily ate my burger and watched the trendy night-people pass. I was startled out of my daze by a cute girl tapping me on the shoulder. She asked if she could borrow a dollar for a burger. I gave her a five and told her to buy a meal. We talked until it was clear that she as getting tired. I offered her money to take a cab home, but she insisted that she didn't want to go home. (She never did tell me why.) She even went so far as to say that she would sleep next to a dumpster or find someone to take her to a hotel, so I told her that I would take her to a hotel instead. That had clearly not been what she had expected, but she accepted all the same.

I'm not sure who started touching what first, or who's clothes came off first, but I remember the tingle of her lips down my chest. I remember how I thought I might die when she wrapped her tongue around my member and took it into her mouth. I remember how sweet it was to kiss her lips and her lips, and how she screamed when my tongue flicked just the right spot. I remember every nanosecond of how it felt to first slide into her. Over and over- and even once in the shower after we thought we were done- until we were completely exhausted.  
That morning, she told me that she knew that she needed to go home and thanked me for _keeping her company_. We exchanged phone numbers, then parted ways in seprate cabs, and I hoped that she would be alright.

When my brother and I were reunited, I was no longer angry, and apologized for worrying everyone. He told me that I seemed different. I laughed it off, telling him that I was a man now because I could survive on my own. I didn't want to tell him exactly how much of a man I had become.  
That night, we had sex again, my brother and I, like usual. But that night, and from that point on, it was _her_ taste on my tongue and _her_ skin under my fingertips.

Now, I lie awake in our bed, recalling these events, while my brother sleeps peacefully at my side. I look over at him and my heart aches because I don't want to break his. He looks so serene; I can't imagine that I look so when I sleep. My dreams of late have been a bit more fitful, frequently involving me hurting my brother. It's been almost four years; I can't figure out why this is suddenly bothering me so much now.

I take a deep breath and exhale. Whether it was by my action or not, my brother's eyes flutter open and he looks over at me. He snuggles up close and breathes a greeting in my ear. I shudder involuntarily and my brother snickers and does it again. I mock-scowl at his early-morning mischief and try to push my previous concerns out of my mind. I can feel my brother's morning wood pressing against my thigh (my worries had effectively taken care of mine), so I know what's coming next (no pun intended). We fall into the familiar foreplay. He nips and nibbles my neck while I stroke his member. I gasp when he tweaks my nipples. He smirks and begins sucking on one. I run my hands up his smooth body and tangle my fingers in his soft hair. As he kisses down my abdomen, I know exactly what he's planning. He leans his forearms on my thighs and holds my hips down with his hands. I hate when he does this, but it's his favorite game: he sucks me just long enough to make me crazy and then, just before I come, he stops. As much as I hate it, I let him do it because he seems to get so much pleasure out of it (how I love my sadistic brother). Just before I fall over the edge and cry out his name, he slides his mouth off of me. Part of me is waiting with bated breath for his next move, while another part of me wants to punch him for stopping. He rubs his remarkably wet tip over my opening. -It has always amazed me, the amount of precum this guy can produce.- Slowly, he pushes into me, and we both moan in pleasure. Rocking becomes thrusting, which becomes harder and faster. He pumps me in time with his thrusts and I can do nothing but writhe beneath him. He kisses me when I come to cover my scream. Another two thrusts and he comes too, nearly biting my tongue as he does. He collapses onto me, smearing my semen around on both our chests and stomachs, and then rolls off to my side. We lie there panting for a bit before my brother hops out of bed and happily announces that it is time to get ready for school (it is a Monday after all). I chuckle at his chipper tone and follow him into the shower.

My brother and I walk into the host club room to find Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kyoya talking to a girl. I wonder vaguely who she is and why she's here before club starts, but am glad all the same to have something new to play with. We exchange glances to be sure that we're on the same wavelength, and, arms linked, make our approach. We start our question of who this lovely new young lady is from behind her, circling in from either side. It's her! I can't even finish our question, and choke halfway through. She looks just as surprised an dumbfounded as I feel. I really hope my brother doesn't notice. He swoops to my side, maintaining the act for the benefit of present company. I clear my throat and straighten myself out while letting him know that I'm alright.

Kyoya clearly noticed and subtly notes that fact to me. He proceeds to introduce this girl to us, Umezawa Candice, heiress to Umezawa Enterprises. She had been traveling with her parents for the past few years, but now she is back to finish out her final year of high school and to go to college in Japan. I try to maintain a demeanor of calm indifference, but have no idea whether I am succeeding. My brother attempts to maintain the act, draping his arm around me. He is saying something, but I can't tell what or to whom; the sound of the blood in my head is deafening. The one thing that could topple my relationship with my brother is now standing right in front of me- and my brother. Her momentary gape when she first saw me was all I needed to know that it's her. She shakes off her stupor, as do I, and introduces herself to us. I do my best to keep in sync with my brother for our introductions, but I know it's subpar, and I know that he knows there's something wrong.

Club activities start. Candice- who says that she likes to be called "Candy"- designates _us_ for the afternoon, so she joins our flock of loyal customers, who gush to her about all of our various antics. The whole time, she and I are in an endless loop of making and avoiding eye-contact. This makes my job as part of an act very difficult, but I give it my best, and it seems to be sufficient- at least, for the customers. My brother is clearly not buying it; I can tell by the looks he keeps giving me. I'll have to figure out how to deal with him later.

Mid-session, Candice gets a phone call. She excuses herself to answer it. I listen intently, but try not to be obvious about it. The other girls are not so tactful. She seems to be talking to a young child. She chides the child for calling her while she is at school, but promises to be home soon. When she returned to the table, the girls are immediately nosy. She explains that it was her little brothers, twins who had just turned three last week. This was met with a chorus of coos. She asks the girls if they want to see a picture of them and offers her cell phone. Of course, the girls squeal in delight over the image, and prattle on about how cute they are, how great the auburn color of their hair is, etc. The picture gets flashed in our direction and my brother chuckles that they remind him a little of us at that age. I hadn't seen the picture, and am not really paying enough attention to care. The girls seem to get a kick out of his comment though; they resume their prattling, this time about what cute little mini-hosts they would make and what lady-killers they'll be when they're older, etc., etc.

My brother takes this opportunity, while the girls are distracted for a couple minutes, to ask me what's wrong with me. I know how worried he is about me, but, right now, I have my own worries. I'm starting to remember again, starting to yearn again. When a flick to my forehead gets my attention, I realize that I had been staring at Candice and hadn't actually responded to my brother's question. Now he's irritated with me. He forcefully asks what is going on between me and "that new girl". There is no possible way for me to answer that question right now. How can I tell my brother that I cheated on him? How can I tell him that I've been lying to him for over three and a half years? I tell him that it's nothing and that I'm just not feeling well. He doesn't believe me, but lets it go for the time being because he can't make an _actual_ scene during club hours.

The rest of the afternoon goes by without incident and we bid our customers a good evening as they leave. Candice is clearly hesitating. I know she wants to talk to me. I want to talk to her too, but it's nearly impossible for me to have a private conversation while my brother is latched onto me. I gesture silently for her to wait five minutes and that I'll come out to meet her. As we clean the club room, those five minutes stretch on forever while I agonize over how I'm going to ditch my brother to talk to the girl that I cheated on him with. The guilt is becoming almost suffocating. I can feel everything start to disintegrate around me. I think I'm going to throw up. There's my excuse. I pause and take a few deep breaths. I announce that I'm going to go get some fresh air and possibly throw up. My brother declares that he's coming with me. I tell him that that's not necessary and that he should stay and help finish cleaning. I glance to Kyoya for backup. Fortunately, he obliges, and convinces my brother to stay behind.

I've broken out into a cold sweat, and my hands are shaking as I step out of those double doors. There she is, in the hallway, staring out the window. There is no logical reason for me to be so nervous about a girl. I deal with girls everyday. This is just another girl. I can do this. I psyche myself into a state of calm and make my approach.

Before I could say anything, the first thing she says to me is that she didn't know I had a brother. I reply her statement back to her with a chuckle. She turns to look at me with dead seriousness and tells me that she doesn't have a brother. I don't really know what she means by that. I want to ask, but something in the way she's staring at me stops me from saying anything. My mind is doing something, but I don't know exactly what yet. I'm starting to hyperventilate, but I still don't know why. In an instant, her entire demeanor changes and she very pleasantly asks me whether I had seen the picture of Kaleb and Shiro. She pulls her phone out and shows it to me. The boys are on her wallpaper. My heart stops for at least three beats, and I don't respond.

Everything that my brain had just been working on was presented to me in graphic detail. - They just turned three- The auburn hair- My brother's comment about them looking like us-_She doesn't have brothers_- Three and _three-quarter_ years ago-  
This isn't happening. I repeat that in my head over and over. My head is swimming; I can't think straight.

She asks me if I'm alright. I know that's what she's asking by the expression on her face and the inflection in her voice, though I can't actually make out single word. All I am currently aware of is the physical manifestation of my emotional turmoil: my pulse is racing, my mouth is dry, my bowels are tangled around themselves, and my hands and feet are starting to go numb. I think this is what a panic attack is. I feel all the blood rush from my head to my feet, and only one thought comes to mind before everything goes black:  
_I have kids._

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Hope you enjoyed this random thing that fell into my head in the middle of last night. I did minimal proofreading, so if you notice errors, please tell me.

I always appreciate constructive criticism (I also appreciate praise).

I have no real intention of continuing this, so no whining about that.

_Thanks for reading!  
_


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